February 2012
80 posts
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When I think about the number of people I’ve let into my life I realize how none of them, when I disappear, would even bat an eye lash.
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“Last night I dreamed that someone loved me,” the other voice said.
“You know very well dreams are only real in your sleep, right?” I asked.
“Not when I dream it with someone else. Not when I dream it when I’m awake.”
“Are you alright?” I asked again.
“I’m fine.”
Then the line went dead and I was left with myself and...
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Each time I wake up
what was there’s no longer there.
Mornings are the worst.
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me: Drive is a really good movie.
him: Would you have watched it if Ryan Gosling wasn't in it?
me: I actually don't like him.
him: WHAT? Even I would fuck The Gosling!
me: shrugs
him: If you were to find him lying naked in your bed right now, what would you do?
me: Ask him to make dinner.
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“You and your brothers look so much alike,”
the adults said, unintentionally displaying their jagged ecru teeth.
As I smiled at them, consciously hiding my tiny milk teeth, I replied in my head
“You only see and say what you like, for how can peas from different pods look alike?”
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professional-indie:
Bon Iver - Blood Bank
That...
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someone once told me his heart felt so free and that loving me was unbelievably easy.
he went on about how it started as a glow then burned like a forest fire deep within his soul. we sang songs from the past and wrote words built to last that proved to be true long after the fire died long after his free heart flew.
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He said to me “daughter, everything will be alright”. I wanted to be taken back to days when I hid under dining tables with toys and a boy named Brandon who had eyes as blue as the swimming pools that were either too shallow or too deep for me. He had hair the color of the Arabian desert sun, but it was a mess of a nest that sparrows could’ve been living in it. The grown ups...
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I'm heading off
…to where the rocks are crumbling off a cliff taller than skyscrapers you and yours could have ever seen.
…to exit from these cities of pollution of genuine hate and well-placed grins where you can’t trust your own reflection.
…to overlook the vastness of the scene and the vastness of possibilities you and your mind could ever imagine.
…on a journey with a price...
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“Distraction is an obstruction for the construction.”
– Stephanie
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“Will you marry me when we’re seventy and got nothing to lose?”
– Stephane
(I had to listen to this scene’s audio to get the correct words.)
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She’s left with herself and the tender rain now, but it’s not as tender as her skin against her touch and what was once against his. The rooms are all quiet now, but outside the winds are howling, calling out her name, as she weeps in a corner calling out his name. She asks why did he have to leave on a non-sunny day, and the walls do not answer but the winds outside continue to howl her name.
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Just when I was mentally prepared for another Hostel outtake, I stepped into the clinic and was welcomed by Michael Bublé crooning through the speakers and a sweet dentist in her 40s who noticed my DMs.
A couple needle pricks, some small talk about her teenage daughter and immigration, and the sensation from my cheek was soon robbed. Before I knew it she was maneuvering some tool that could...
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You said you have so much respect for people who can fluently speak more than one language, because of the high quality education they must have received. I said I’m just fortunate to have grown up in a third world country.
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Restricting feelings
in seventeen syllables
is something I’m bad at.
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Distress signal
He hears her heart beat
like a morse code: SOS.
Each thump saves his soul.
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“My wish is that you may be loved to the point of madness.”
– André Breton
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“Manech feels Mathilde’s heart in his palm. Each beat brings her closer to...”
– A Very Long Engagement.
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She thought the silky smooth belly dancer and interesting apple beer were going to send her to sleep as soon as the night was done, but the sting within her was a gentle reminder of the wounds that need tending and the stomach that needs feeding.
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I tried to do handstands for you, but everytime I...
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Goodnight, Piper
She sneaked in & stayed with me at a time I refused to be with others.
She sat there, silently sharing my questions & angst.
Her lips pursed, she offered no words, but she was listening.
With every sob & bawl I made she responded with a stare, almost as if she was going through the exact path as I was.
As if she spoke my mother tongue.
As if she were human.
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For the past mornings, I have been waking up either from a horrid dream or to a bad news. I have mentioned feeling empty lately, and today the morning thought it was a good idea to welcome me with something to further drain me because apparently there’s still some tears left to cry. My dog that I’ve had since highschool died.
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When will he be as he was?
When the sun rises in the west, sets in the east. When the seas go dry, when the mountains blow in the wind like leaves.
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A khal who takes orders from a foreign whore is no khal.
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I never thought I’d say this beyond my teenage years, but, I feel so dead inside.
Tabula rasa.
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It hurts to smile.
No, really.
My impacted upper wisdom teeth are tearing their way through my tender gums. Little bastards.
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We come into this world not to be remembered we come into this world alone. We go through the worst parts alone and you and I know for sure that we will both die alone. We spend most of life trying to find someone to spend it with until you’re all spent, but when the time comes for your name to be etched on stone, you will have lived your life not to be remembered and you will have died...
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Love is an invader that surreptitiously slices you open, slithers into you, and shreds your very being into bits until there’s no more left but a hollow hull of a human, ready for possession. Before you know it, you’re just a walking, talking vessel of this emotion, that you might as well bear a tag which reads “This belongs to: (insert your beloved’s name).”
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“I watch my heart disappearing into her rosebud mouth. My Valentine’s jest...”
– Harlequin Valentine. Neil Gaiman.